No, They Don't "Even Out"

I ran across this argument yet again in the last day, and it drives me up the wall. A parent asked a question about future educational concerns because she wondered if her (toddler aged) kid being gifted/advanced would change something. Instead of answering the question, people came out of the woodwork to tell her she couldn't possibly know her kid was gifted this young, that the handful of skills she listed would probably just even out over time, everyone thinks their kid is gifted, et cetera, et cetera.

No. Just no. Why do parents feel the need to do this?

I do understand that children develop at different rates, but there is a general flow to the development and when a kid is far outside that flow it is reasonable for a parent to accept that their child is gifted. It is reasonable to assume that when a parent gives strong evidence of giftedness, that they did not just give a comprehensive list of every sign they've seen, but a smattering of evidence. It is reasonable to assume that a parent, especially a parent who is with their child around the clock, has a pretty good idea of when something is out of the norm.

Scheduling for the Chronically Overscheduled (or: Why This Year Nearly Drove Me Crazy)

We've often been highly scheduled. The Kid likes having a lot of things to do, and she is interested in nearly everything I can think of. When we moved this summer, I told her that we were going to be careful not to overschedule so that we could enjoy our time in our new city, with all the opportunities the city afforded us.

And then it seemed we were constantly not getting to anything on our list. We were skipping field trips, she was always trying to catch up in her online class, we weren't even getting the basics done, we were always running late. It didn't make any sense to me. I finally laid out everything we were doing on a schedule grid, and found out that the reason it wasn't working is that it literally did not work. Even though the total number of hours technically could fit in a week, it didn't fit in the spaces of time that we had. And no amount of organization was going to make it work.

Here's the thing: each year, we ease the number of hours spent on school up. Just a bit at a time. And the same extracurriculars that The Kid has previously enjoyed take at least as many hours as before, if not more due to increasing levels. This was simply the year that we hit the breaking point. It doesn't all fit anymore. Something had to give, and there was nothing that we really wanted to give up.

Decisions are hard.

Study Skills Crash Course

The Kid is taking an online class this year. No surprise there, she likes her online classes. But for the first time, this is not a aimed-at-gifted-kids, high-input-low-output class. This is a bona fide high school class, populated with actual high schoolers.

It did not take me long to realize that she was going to need a study skills crash course. I think it happened when she took a quiz, got a D, immediately took the quiz again (being allowed two chances at it), got a nearly identical score, then shrugged. She hadn't even thought about studying, looking anything up (it was open book), or even realized what letter grade a 64% was. This is also the first class she has ever taken that issues grades at all, so it's a completely foreign concept to her.

The hardest part for me? I never learned any study skills myself. I just absorbed what I was supposed to do in order to get good grades by having grown up going to traditional schools. But then it occurred to me that might be all she needs - someone to explain to her the basics of getting by. We talked about the things that seemed so basic to me that I forgot that anyone might need them taught:

- Use the provided formula sheets.
- Look at the answers to the quiz when the first attempt is graded - the answers were all right there for her!
- Don't just read the homework problems and answer them in her head. Actually write the answers down. Then actually check them with the answer key. Then actually look over the ones missed.
- If you don't understand, don't say "I don't understand" and move on. Write to the teacher. Tell her what you're thinking and ask where you're going wrong.

I find it amazing that The Kid doesn't need my help with Physics, but the things above still need specifically taught. Just as well, because I'm even more hopeless with Physics than with study skills.